Sudden death would be a lot more interesting with live ammunition involved, ideally a Western-style shootout set to the tune of The Magnificent Seven, but I suppose Texan Robert would have an unfair advantage given the whole American right to bear arms thing.

Instead, we'll have to make do with scorching stove tops and the glint of steel blades.

"I've got the nervous sweats happening. It's our last roll of the dice, we've just got to hope that the sixes come up, mate," Aussie Rob says.

Sixes aren't exactly what he should be aiming for in My Kitchen Rules, but he wants to do well, which is fair enough.

Both teams have done pretty well throughout the series – father and daughter team Robert and Lynzey scored 90 in their first instant restaurant while the Queenslanders already have a 10-point dish under their belts in the form of a mushroom ravioli.

"I think today is going to be epic. There's the handlebar mo and the two beards from Queensland. It's the battle of the facial hair," Pommie Will says from the sidelines.

The cook-off format doesn't leave much opportunity for Texan Robert's quirky stories, which are kind of like episodes of Neighbours – a bit annoying to listen to at the time, but you'll miss them when they're gone.

So, we're left to look at the cooking. Just the cooking.

Rob and Dave list as many synonyms for mate as they can (brother... champ... son...) while preparing their entree of chargrilled seafood in tomato and basil consommé.

"How are you going to knock out a consommé in an hour and a half?" Drasko asks.

"Tricks!" according to Dave, though I can't see anything particularly magical about watery tomato juice.

Robert and Lynzey are making deep fried goat cheese balls, because a Texan meal without a fry up is like Home and Away without Alf. Totally lame.

...And it's story time!

"I've been around goats all my life, raising goats. I love goats' cheese, I love goat milk," Robert drawls.

"I lost my two front baby teeth when a big old Spanish goat stepped in my mouth after he bucked me."

Turns out the judges reckon the fried cheese balls are too dry, the balsamic reduction is burnt and that the whole presentation is "retro", but not in a good way. No complaints about their rivals' seafood dish.

For mains, the Queenslanders are skinning some chooks, ripping their breasts off, stuffing them and then wrapping the meaty parcel back in the skin.

Clearly, they've borrowed a technique or two from Ed Gein or Jack the Ripper.

"It shows we know how to work a carcass," Rob says, while Dave agrees they're onto a winner, winner, chicken dinner.

"The only thing that could be stuffed is the way it comes out, but they'll get a surprise when it comes out wrapped up in the skin," he boasts.

Uh oh, kitchen mishap! Dave is "a klutz" and has cut himself, prompting the medic to waltz onto the set with a pretty blue plaster to patch up his boo-boo and kiss it better.

Meanwhile, the Texan two are super excited about their main of Wagyu eye fillet, which Robert insists should "taste like a meat-flavoured marshmallow".

"I've never seen anybody eat a Wagyu steak and complain about it," Robert says.

It proves a mistake to trust Lynzey with the potato puree, given she "avoids potato like the plague" and they end up with some lumpy mush.

The judges don't like the puree, but Manu is impressed with the way the father-daughter team "respected" the steak.

Dave and Rob's dish again proves the favourite and Pete attempts to steal Manu's chicken skin, but fails and earns a rap over the knuckles from the Frenchman.

In another unwise move, Lynzey makes a dessert using beetroot – a vegetable Robert loathes.

"I hate beetroot! I can't understand why they put it on all the hamburgers here," he exclaims.

Lynzey says she'll team the blood orange and beetroot parfait with a raspberry sorbet which she hopes will "be really raspberry-y". It ends up being a really raspberry-y melted mush dumped in a glass.

But Papa Robert isn't giving up and will deliver an onslaught of cute anecdotes in the hope the producers will rig the voting in their favour.

"I've been bucked off some of the meanest animals that ever walked this earth but I still got up. We're going to fight this through right to the bitter end," he says.

"The last time I was this nervous, someone had a gun in his hand."

Dave and Rob admit they might be in trouble too as "desserts aren't [their] forte".

"My idea of a good dessert is a cheese board and a glass of red," Dave says, like that isn't an option.

Dave is initially chuffed with the way the figs "just sit there on their arse", but is soon pulled up by his mate who reckons "a couple of them are looking a bit dodgy".

Pommie Will busts out a dad joke, advising the Queenslanders to "fig-ure out what to do". Ha ha.

The judges all love the Texans' dessert, but lament its unfrozen form.

"If you had have nailed that parfait, it would have been the best dish in the competition so far," Pete Evans says.

Dave and Rob's fig dessert "doesn't make sense" to Manu, but it's not gross enough to give Robert and a tearful Lynzey an 11th hour reprieve from the chopping block.

The daddy-daughter duo manage a score of 41, but are dismissed when Pete uses all of his fingers to calculate the banana benders' total of 46.

As the sun sinks slowly in the West, two silhouettes racing on Coles trolleys fade off into the distance.

"It's really a shame because I had a lot of good stories left," Robert drawls, for the last time.

I'll bet you did, cowboy, I'll bet you did.