Sarah* will always be scarred by the night her husband raped her.
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To make it worse, the attack happened in the same room as her sleeping six-year-old daughter.
But to add insult to injury, the detective taking her statement in 2019 said there was no point in pursuing the allegation as she had "no proof" as the assault occurred a year prior.
Regardless, Sarah wanted to make an official statement but was told the only way to proceed with the investigation was if detectives could interview her daughter, which Sarah would never allow.
So two hours reliving a truly traumatic attack was for nothing.
A few years earlier, Jane* was dealing with the anguish of having her whole school sent naked photos of her when she was 15-year-old.
She had been groomed and manipulated into sending the photos to a boy, two years older, who said he would be her boyfriend.
When she turned to the authorities, it was the boy's father who took her statement and he left out major parts of her account.
Then there was "radio silence" until she was contacted by detectives who told her if she pressed charges against the teen then she would be charged with creating child pornography.
"I was the victim," Jane said. "I was publicly humiliated by my whole year. And nothing happened to him. I was made to feel like it was my fault.
"Police asked why I had sent the photo? I was given no support.
"That's why when I was sexually assaulted years later, I didn't report it."
These are just two examples of the ways victims of sexual and indecent assaults are treated by some police officers. The lack of sensitivity by detectives left them feeling mistrustful of police.
I was made to feel like it was my fault. I was given no support. That's why when I was sexually assaulted years later, I didn't report it.
- Jane
Lake Illawarra Police District crime manager, Detective Chief Inspector Glen Broadhead acknowledged that some investigators did not always get it right.
"It is really important for the victim of a sexual assault not to feel at fault," he said. "It can be a tricky process to collect evidence.
"Some questions need to be asked because they can become relevant if the case proceeds through the court system.
"But sometimes the message sent is not the one received.
"We need and are looking at how we train young investigators and detectives. We don't get it right all the time. We make mistakes. We need to look at how we can improve.
"They need to be sensitive when interviewing victims. We want victims to feel comfortable and confident to speak to police.
"Lake Illawarra police is engaging with the Illawarra Shoalhaven Local Health District to put strategies in place to reduce victims opting out of us pursuing the investigation."
This week, NSW Police launched a new "#thereisnoexcuse" social media video campaign to encourage the community to report incidents of sexual assault to investigators.
It aims to address community queries and concerns about the process of reporting sexual assault, available support services, as well as what is consent, when to report an assault, if substances are involved and the details of the reporting process.
This is a necessary campaign because 20-year-old Wollongong woman Jessica* said she regretted telling Wollongong police about her sexual assault in 2016.
"They made me feel worse," she said. "They asked your typical victim-blaming questions, such as 'what were you wearing?', 'how much did you drink?' and 'why didn't you get up and walk away?'
"They said they would call me the next day for follow up questions and they never did.
"I would have liked if they were more sensitive to the issue as it's really difficult for us to go and report the assault.
"Police officers really need to be aware of the impact they have because what they say and how they act can really set woman back or make them feel even more hopeless."
Similarly, 18-year-old Wollongong woman Amanda*, who is a sexual assault and child-grooming survivor, said she "felt lost and in the dark" after reporting her rape.
However, upon reporting to police that she was in a paedophilic relationship with a man double her age, she received support, acknowledgment and compassion from the female police officer who took her statement.
"Victims feel a lot of guilt and shame, which can often prevent them from coming forward," Amanda said.
"Officers ask many personal and private questions and so many emotions are brought up, which can scare women off.
"The female officer made me feel not crazy, and gave me a sense of security and protection."
Amanda said she would like to see more support services offered to survivors and more transparency for them while their case proceeds through the court system.
*Fake names have been used to protect the women's identity.
