Eternity Matters: It's not about love or anything like it

This is why we make sure the spare tyres in our cars are kept inflated, we have something in the bank for a rainy day, and we have canned food in the pantry.

This useful concept is also being applied to relationships by youngsters these days. Apparently a thing amongst Millennials, “cushioning”, is when one is in a serious relationship, but keeps a few “spares” on the side.

Just in case of course. When one is suffering from the emotional pain of a broken relationship, it makes sense to have a few “cushions” to break the fall.

We wonder of course if those who think “cushioning” is a good idea actually understand the concept of love. Remarking on the rise of the phenomenon, social researcher David Chalke said that it isn’t just about being, “…awfully callous and brutal, it coldly pronounces the supremacy of the individual.”

Maybe it just is a sign of the times, but one would have thought, after all these years of being bombarded with songs, books, and movies about true love, everyone (who wasn’t living under a rock that is) would have got it by now. Love isn’t about me. It is about the other.

If in a relationship, one makes it all about their own needs rather than the needs of the other person, that relationship is doomed to fail. The apostle Paul wrote about 2000 years ago, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5, 7. NIV)

This of course is one of the paradoxes of life. The more selfish one is in a relationship, the less they will get out of it. Those who think they can both have their cake and eat it, are in for a world of disappointment.