Managing grief and distress during Christmas time: Five expert tips

Beyond Blue clinical spokesperson Dr Luke Martin told ACM that Christmas is an "emotionally loaded" time.

Dr Martin said grief could be even harder to manage at this time of year because it is when we "gather with the people we care about".

"We can feel the absence of loved ones more strongly," he said.

"The traditions and rituals of Christmas are kind of integrated with the memories we hold of the person we're grieving. For others, those traditions and rituals are going to lose all meaning because they're disconnected from the person we're grieving."

Dr Martin advises people who are struggling with grief to put a "wellbeing plan" together.

"What are those little things you can do to make sure you're doing them regularly?" he asked.

He noted that self-care often drops off at Christmas time because people have more social commitments and routines change.

He also advises people to check in with themselves emotionally.

"It is helpful to talk about how you're feeling and not bottle it up," he said.

Another way to manage grief is to find ways to keep the memory alive, said Dr Martin.

"Share stories of their life that can bring comfort to us or even play their favourite song or Christmas movie," he said.

"My dad died about 10 years ago but every Christmas morning I play his favourite Christmas album by Elvis Presley."

Most of all, Dr Martin said, make Christmas manageable.

Dr Martin said it can help to have prepared lines for "difficult conversations".

"Be prepared for the conversations you might be worried about so you are not put on the spot trying to think when you're stressed or emotional," he said.

"Be gentle on yourself, don't load yourself up with guilt if you can't meet other people's expectations."

And of course, if you are distressed, seek help early.

Beyond Blue has around 800 people contacting them a day, said Dr Martin.

But that spikes in the New Year when "life returns to normal a little bit".

"That's when they almost have the space, and they have time to think about, 'oh, I need to address this kind of emotions I'm feeling', and they reach out then."

"But often it means people struggle through Christmas, and it's a really difficult month for them, and they can feel really distressed and isolated.

"We know the longer you hold on to distressing thoughts and feelings, the bigger they can grow so our advice is try not to delay it."

Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; Beyond Blue 1300 224 636; Grief Australia 1800 642 066