October will mark three years since Chloe Kessell lost her best friend Aroha Tupaea.
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"Grief doesn't fade, it lingers, settling into everyday life in ways I never expected," she told ACM.
The loss is more acute after garden ornaments and artificial flowers that she had placed on Aroha's grave at Pinegrove Memorial Park and Crematorium in western Sydney were removed.
The cemetery has a 'fresh flowers only' policy.
"Graves aren't just sites to be maintained; they are meant to be places of love and remembrance, of connection," she said.
"The 'fresh flowers only' policy is particularly difficult, as it becomes costly for families to maintain, often resulting in graves left without any tribute at all."
In her despair, Ms Kessell wrote about the issue on social media and realised she had touched many people.
"Many people reached out to share their own experience of frustration and heartbreak over similar cemetery policies," she said.
A petition advocating for a review of cemetery policies that Ms Kessell started to the NSW parliament has garnered over 1,000 signatures.
"My goal is to find a balance between cemetery regulations and allowing families to care for graves without unnecessary restrictions," she said.
Pinegrove Memorial Park and Crematorium declined to comment on the matter.
But Australasian Cemeteries and Crematoria Association (ACCA) CEO Ben Kelly told ACM that the "placement of flowers and ornaments was an important part of the grieving process for many families".
But he said the rules were in place "primarily because of the concerns for the health and safety of workers and park visitors".
"Randomly placed objects of non-approved construction could pose risks, such as tripping hazards, glass breakage and the potential risk these items can pose to the local wildlife," he said.
NSW Lands minister Steve Kamper's office directed ACM to the Department of Planning.
A spokesperson said the removal of ornaments was a "decision for cemetery operators".
"The NSW Interment Industry Scheme requires larger cemetery operators to have an ornaments policy so everyone can see clearly what ornamentations are allowed, how they will be treated, and when they might be removed."
Carla Mascarenhas
Carla Mascarenhas is a journalist with Explore Travel and The Senior. She specialises in deep issues affecting Gen X and beyond, and the latest in travel news. Contact her on carla.mascarenhas@austcommunitymedia.com.au
